Some Thoughts on Parasocial Relationships
According to psychology theorists, humans have several basic needs that must be met in order to find a healthy, fulfilling life.
Different theorists present these needs in different ways. For example, Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs describes an ascension of human requirement as we move from a state of survival—seeking out physiological necessities like food and shelter—to one of self-actualization—reaching one’s unique potential while achieving one’s goals and feeling valued by others (Maslow, 1943). Under Choice Theory and Reality Therapy, created by Dr. William Glasser, it is assumed that humans have five basic needs: survival, freedom, power, love/belonging, and fun (Wubbolding, 2011). Similarly, Erik Erikson argues in his Psychosocial Stages of Development that healthy human development includes the creation of intimate relationships during young adulthood (Erikson, 1980).
Looking at any psychological theory, and as fellow humans familiar with life, I’ll assume we can agree that a sense of connection with others is imperative to wellbeing and fulfillment. Yes, there are some religious and cultural exceptions, but on the whole, regardless of individual levels of extroversion, we are highly social animals. Not only do we want other people in our lives, but we need them. We may not need many. But even one meaningful relationship significantly improves satisfaction with life (Martino et al, 2015).
So here comes the interesting part. Not only do we value connection with real people, but we also have the fascinating tendency to connect with fake ones. As children, we may have thought up imaginary friends with whom we played and talked. Stranded on deserted islands, we may create friends from inanimate objects (“Wilson!”). And as normal, well-functioning adolescents and adults surrounded by billions of people, we may still develop one-sided relationships with the characters in the books we read. In the field of Communications and Media Studies, these are referred to as parasocial relationships.
And I would argue that while these connections cannot take the place of intimate relationships with real people, they have a valuable place in our human journey and can also provide an increase to our quality of life. One of the joys of reading fiction is connecting with characters who are relatable, quirky, and who validate our unique experience. This is where we differ from animals. We as human have imagination, and this is a gift to celebrate and enjoy.
So while you interact with others, while you make friends, while you date and fall in love and create families, read on. Connect with characters. There are people to meet, adventures to have, lessons to learn. And while unable to take the place of your life, these stories and the people in them can greatly enrich it.
References:
Erikson, E. H. (1980). Identity and the Life Cycle. W W Norton & Co.
Martino, J., Pegg, J., & Frates, E. P. (2015). The Connection Prescription: Using the Power of Social Interactions and the Deep Desire for Connectedness to Empower Health and Wellness. American journal of lifestyle medicine, 11(6), 466–475. https://doi.org/10.1177/1559827615608788
Maslow, A. H. (1943). A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review, 50(4), 370–396. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0054346
Wubbolding, R. E. (2011). Reality therapy. American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/17332-000